Did you dl zombie porn on my computer?
Why is there a cactus in the microwave?
Don't worry about it.
All i remember was he was wearing billibong pants... well actually my mom found that out for me.
Good cause the way I see it, we are down to DAYS left of college so we should have as much naked fun as possible. And Jenga really facilitates that.
I'm at taco bell and they have a hiring sign asking "do you like to melt things?" clearly they only want the ambitious.
there is no way i'm buying plan b and condoms at the same time
no do it! it shows that you acknowledge your mistakes and you are proactively working towards a solution.
Housekeeping just called to see if we were okay bc they came in the room earlier and we didn't move.
They glued all of the ceiling tiles shut.
oh my god. you caused complete remodeling to a college campus that you don't even go to
I have to stop drunkenly making out with guys just because they're tall or have a beard.
The first couple times was just weird, but after last night, I'm beginning to think you have a real problem banging pregnant women who are carrying someone elses child.
It's okay though. My mom didn't believe that they were mine cuz they were magnums. Having a surprisingly large penis ftw
Check 'smoke weed with our ihop waiter' off of our To-Do List
You made out with both twins? Ten points to you!
I'm sending you a dick pic. Ill tell the other ppl in this pancheros its cool
Don't send a pic of dick unless it's inside the burrito
The NSA quit spying on phones. I'm sending you SO MANY dick pics.
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