mornings like this make me wish i was morman.
on of the only things i remember was the security guard told me i was too drunk for laser tag.
Ok. Cause im very serious about this. I wanna strip and do coke for a month
I wish you'd make everyone's lives easier and do him already. Then we can get rid of him.
this is worse than the time i threw up a condom.
I take it we used my cleavage as a pen holder last night during the graffiti party. Looks like the colours of Crayola exploded all over my chest
Also, I cannot stop picturing myself in a bar, 3 years from now ordering soda. Just soda. 30 pounds over weight and wearing a cat sweater. I feel like I'm heading in the wrong direction in life.
1. I'm excited for tonight 2. Do we dress up as pirates? 3. Happy Valentine's Day bae
Can I pee and smoke my bong at the same time or is that like eating on the toilet
I feel like I smell like bad decisions
Do the security cameras outside your house capture sound? If so your whole family is going to hear me describe my threesome
It's wednesday. OF COURSE HE'S DRUNK.
I think I may have fully transcended this spectrum of life. I can see beams of light man. Down to the photons
What
The only downside is I can't stop skipping
Heard flapping noises behind me. It was my roommate flapping her bathrobe like wings, saying "I'm a faaaiiiiry."
Been using bowl smoking as a method of time for so long I don't know how long it actually takes to get to work
Randomize
