whats the name of the jew you used to have sex with that lives on evergreen?
be more specific...?
wrong asian. never thought that would happen.
Thanks for ditching me last night. I got a ride home from the Dominos delivery guy. You owe me 3 large pizzas.
and i forgot to tell you that my armpit hair is now completely grown back. man i love winter.
at the gym hungover with vodka in a water bottle. don't say i'm not fulfilling my resolutions
Just showed mom and dad the pics from San Francisco, while i played the Full House theme song in the background.
My STD test came back clean. I'd like to thank all the guys I've slept with, they made this possible. I want to say thanks to all my friends, for believing in me living up to the full slut potential. And last but not least, I'd like to thank alcohol. I wouldn't be who I am today w/out you. I feel like I need to frame this...
he's downstairs watching tv with my family... I called the home line so my mom could bring me my make up bag cause my real face would prob make him delete my number
Just had a memory of you pretending to be a begging dog putting your head on my lap while I fed you. Great night to try a new drug.
just walked into the study room and found an empty bottle of vodka and a passed out freshman. Did you have anything to do with this?
I have a high opinion of you, you smash bitches. Respect.
I think my ball sweat smells like waffle house. might be time to change up drunken eating habits
Unless he's under 18, in which case you put him back where you found him this instant.
its hard to say precisely how it happened, but the next thing i knew i was on top of a mountain
I just woke up and I don't really remember anything past 1pm. How much am I missing?
A good 10-11 hours. You got laid twice. Also, you out-ran a cop and played football with a lamp.
Randomize
