dude did u upper deck my toilet?
haha like two months ago
i cleaned the bathroom like ten times before i realized what the smell was.....i hate u
I just got my poem back from the prof, there's a sticker of a girraffe on it and it says "you're awesome!" ... How can this even be considered real college?!?
Plus apparently whenever one of her friends loses their virginity they get a party with a funfetti cake which I found funny
white shorts are a girls way of saying "im ready to fuck cuz its not my time of month"
i keep looking at my boobs and it just baffles me how he could give this up.
I don't care who it's from we're getting blown. It's a 3 day weekend anything can happen
someone to text and fuck? since when does that constitute a relationship?
since 2006
We don't watch enough power rangers
Have you ever realized how cool bread is? Like so many things taste good on it. Like its crazy to think that peanut butter and turkey can both taste good on the same thing.
Dude, where are you?
In back
of car
... whose car?
Basically she credited me and my dick pic for boosting the moral of all the Safeway workers
She had a belly button piercing in the shape of a cross. Talk about mixed messages.
He has a British accent. He could read me the phone book and I would come so hard he would need a wizened old man in a rowboat to save him.
WHY ARE THE COPS ALWAYS AT DENNYS WHEN IMDRUNK!?
Stopping for a booty call on the way to a lunch date... Bad form?
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