I'm about to enter vancouver's biggest liquor store. I feel like I should sent you a "wish you were here" postcard.
Stumbled into class and into a desk. When I fell my bottle broke in my backpack. I had to leave there was vodka everywhere.
no i had to finish in the bathroom to a pic of her mom in a bikini.
All I kmoe is rheres a coffee pot full pf vodka in my purse
The last thing I want is a chocolate mold of my cock competing with my real cock for time spent in your mouth
Apparently you missed the drunkest me ever documented. I slept on the hardwood floor and left my pants on the porch to give u a frame of reference.
Only in my life does a conversation about Hanukkah lead to sexting
Wednesday is my day of reflection and making my dick and balls into shapes. So i'll be pretty busy.
It really does creep me out though that the next ten years will involve my friends creating smaller versions of themselves because to be honest I don't know how much I like some of them. So that thought it really scary
No seriously you guys are gonna get arrested
Do me a favor I want you to reach down the front of your pants and underwear and just feel around for a while... if you happen to find your balls then join us
On the upside, no one went to the hospital! Lex's friend was definitely on fire at one point last night though because he tried to juggle tiki torches. He was shirtless this morning and smelled like a BBQ.
I'm listening to Michael Jackson while drinking vodka, alone. Honestly, l wish I could Moonwalk my way back to when I knew wtf was going on in my life.
Due to this morning's events my new porn name is Reepa Nipplov.
She has no problem going ass to mouth, but won't eat the pizza crust. I don't get it.
What the hell happened to the sandwich meat I just bought?
After you smoked, you made 8 ham sandwiches.
Guess that explains the mysterious disappearance of the bread...
Randomize
