Every single piece. I examined every single square inch of this peanut butter and jelly sandwich. and fell in love with every inch. that high.
Iranian Rapper, camaroonian basketball player, mexican i forget and indian doctor....this one looks the best on paper.
Normal vaginal pH: 3.8 to 4.5. Of course it tastes like a 9-volt. I could run a potato clock on that thing.
She just asked me if I was looser "in the vagina" than her. While gyrating.
NEW RULE: can't hook up with more than 50% of the groomsmen in wedding party or it becomes wrong kind of weird. NUMBERS GAME.
The best part of tonight is drunk commenting on my moms pic about how birds just want to give you diseases and pluck out your eyes
Donating $10 to Sandy victims for every hurricane I drink tomorrow. Buying me alcohol just became a good cause.
Got done with class, now I'm buying MD 2020 with the ex. Sure feels like college.
Can you bring home an IV stand and an empty bag so I can direct inject coffee for work tomorrow morning?
i asked him to talk to me in french while we fucked and halfway through i caught the word 'lasagna'. turns out he was making his grocery list.....i asked him to keep going.
She definitely peed in a bucket in their closet last night. We should warn them about that, right?
Packing for college has become a game of where did I hide my sex toys.
I wrote a list of things I enjoy doing. So far it says "get high and go to museums."
Hope you’re getting action boo.
Definitely no. I woke up next to a bag of McDonald's.
Not gonna make it. His stripper neighbors are playing a Super Bowl drinking game that involves removing my clothes
Randomize
