So I had sex in the woods... it was just as dirty as you'd expect it would be.. and not in a good way.
is it bad if my mug shot looks better than my profile picture?
i woke up this morning cuddling with a 3 foot statue of Jesus. heaven here i come
If that really is brett favre's penis, no wonder she ignored his calls
She wants an explanation of my cousins creepy foot fetish with my god sister. i don't know how I can sum this up in a text.
I'm out of mixers so I am using sugar water. Times are tough.
I just want to know what horrible accidents of evolution allowed that tiny penis to exist
I thought he was walking around the front. I just hit and run my booty call. I'm the worst non girlfriend ever
I just took the cheapest shot in your honor
Walking into the first day of college is like walking into a meat market. A meat market of sex.
The only reason I can fathom that you've been able to continue to date new people this long is that women continue to become of age each year, and the younger ones don't know any better.
She shit all over my seat. She is not allowed in my car under any circumstances. Not even with drugs. You can't forgive a shit.
I just saw a kid on iowa campus story that looked like the guy i made out with on spring break.
I mean, if there was a version of you with a penis, you'd fuck it...right? Like just outta curiosity at least
First she snuck beer into the movies and then proceded to give me a handjob in the dark theatre. I think I'm in love
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