I am so gay it hurts my loins. Going to see She's Just Not That Into You... again. Ohhh my goodness.
Check if I'm alive tomorrow. If not, tell my parents I died happy and that there's a gay cheerleader in the spare bedroom
Had a 3 sum last night, and today food just taste better and the air seems so much fresher!
this morning i realized i came home with more condoms then i left. burn.
his name is not nearly as fun as i thought to yell out in bed
is it too early in the day to continue our conversation about penis shapes?
Guy next to me at the plasma center is high and watching porn on his itouch. I am wayy to hung over for this level of poor.
Bob the builder, bob the uilder bob the builder bbbbbbbbbbbbbbbbjbbbbbiotch!pp!!!!
Tell him I'm the girl who was excited he spoke English. Then ask him where he picked me up from.
My teacher just let our class out 30 minutes early, its a 50 minute class. He said the only thing we had to do was get fucked up tonight and have stories about it on Monday.
What do you mean you don't want me to steal the manikin do you have any idea how expensive inflatable dolls are I can't get that for your birthday
I'm sitting on the toilet eating a Chick-Fil-A breakfast sandwich. How's your Monday?
I mean I did fuck her boyfriend, the least I could do is post happy birthday on her Facebook wall.
My ex-wife, who I haven't heard from since the divorce, just Amazoned me cherry flavored massage oil and a rainbow caps with the message "Happy Pride". What's the polite response?
she prefaced telling me she was pregnant with "houston, we have a problem"
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