What's the procedure for failed threesomes? Do I friend her on facebook this morning?
i am fully taking advantage of taking advantage of him
Two girls are now jumping in the ocean naked at 10 PM...and I was just starting to hate Ocean City
Too tired to do the dishes so I made mac and cheese in a teapot. There's still some left if you want some...
You found Muppets From Space a little too intense, so you just sorta sat on the ground and stared at the wall plug for an hour and a half.
I love having a vagina, its like having the keys to a city
I met the perfect girl for you, she's smart, likes cars, has at least one ear, and really blue eyes!
please elaborate on, "atleast one ear"
Somebody left a mini pitcher in the bathroom. Think its safe?
I wasnt going to have sex with him until i ran into his gf at chipotle. It was like the gods were saying "Go ahead. Shes already had her burrito for the day"
Excuse me but the alley way I wanted to fuck in happens to be a very nice clean area.
she fascinated with the iron the back of the toilet seat. she made me sit in the bathroom with her for a solid 10 minutes while she just stared and laughed at it
If man night ends at some point, hit me up and let me prove my vagina still exists.
Based on the time of Sean's "I'm on your street" phone call last night, we had sex for an hour and a half. Man, time flies when you're getting boned to an orgasmic death.
I'm like five sips away from making a Craigslist post for true love and mustaches. My family is going to disown me tonight.
Pro: 2020 made it easier to hook up with strippers
Con: explaining to Kari why there’s always strippers at our house
Pro: there’s always strippers at our house
Randomize
