we black-lighted her bedspread and it looked like a jackson pollock painting.
September 16th, captains log. I awoke in a daze, not sure of my location
when she started singing "you look better when im drunk" to my cat i realized it was time to take her home
... was I dreaming when we did coke off of the xbox, or did that really happen?
It looks like sephora exploded on his dick, so i assumed I was the second girl that gave him head that night.
As I type I'm climbing my cousins swingset so I can take a nap inside the slide. Fuck this hangover. I always win.
Pitting the remainder of the bottle against my hangover. I'm expecting an all out cage match for my soul and wellbeing.
Oh aight, and i was just going to be content with drinking, beating off and watching ninja turtles
At least I made out with him before he made out with that dog...
When I die I just want my headstone to my name, date of birth-death, and TEQUILA!!
We kind of broke a table making out. So yes, I'd say it was successful.
Themes for tonight: men who look like bill Gates but sing smash mouth songs. Women who's names are also food. Haircuts that DO NOT cover bald spots.
The guy who was interviewing me asked if I had coke on my pants. You win this time Las Vegas
How does it feel to date your dad?
It's weird having sex with someone you actually like
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