Culvers...So Good
So good. The butter burgers slip right outta my ass.
he asked me if i had ever jacked off high and then referred to it as a "man-to-man question"
I now beleive the Trojan Ecstasy ad "feels like nothing's there". They forgot to add "...cause the condom broke."
in the past 3 nights i've fucked a millionaire, a drug dealer and a civil engineer... i dont really have a "type" anymore
they're doing drop shots of Jager into red wine. i don't want to be on that level
I'm naked and wearing a cowbell.i love med school.
you are dancing on the line between undergrad and alcoholic.
I seriously have her in my phone as "Legit 8"...even I'm surprised
My most recent midlife crisis involved eating a doughnut in 30 seconds but taking 5 minutes to do half a shot of whiskey, then deciding I wasn't going to finish it.
My horseshoe mustache feels at home at this bar.
I just farted so loud someone came to check on me. Thought something fell in my office.
I never realized how weird our shower smells until I cracked a shower beer and had a familiar aroma to compare it to.
I was eating leftover taco bell in bed at 3 in the afternoon. I can't throw any stones
The cat is stealing cigarettes and my vagina cures blindness. How's your night?
I can appreciate that you picked up the hot drummer, but don’t have sex in front of my house lmao
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