So there is a chick dressed up in a vagina costume handing out free condoms next to the dude handing out free Bibles and preaching about sin. I love college.
Is it weird I want to fuck the cartoon chick from e-surance??
You say "I'm in class" like it matters... I'm getting a little tired of having to smoke by myself at 4:20 because you're in class.
It took years to rebuild my brains forcefield against your charm and I feel like u seal team 6'd ur way in again and caught my common sense sleeping on post
Your either lost or getting food, if your lost find me a girl on your way back, if your getting food grab me a double cheese
Brown or brunette? Ketchup or mustard?
I love you bro
I don't want to tell anyone! People who sleep with senators either end up in porn or guantanamo
I can't relate, I like my boobs roaming free like a wild animal, and I occasionally let them devour small children
It's not even 6 am and I've already told my mom to fuck herself in the face
Current status: Finding an unwrapped portion of Subway sandwich in my purse at the pharmacy counter & picking pieces of tomato off my wallet while the pharmacist watches disdainfully.
Did you offer her some?
If only. Current status: Not that clever.
He's not put together enough to have that big of a dick
He slept outside in his hammock, and then took a lawn chair with him in the shower because he was too drunk to stand up.
You have a penis. Therefore everything you say is automatically wrong.
Dude I'm drinking alone and watching cartoons. How is it that someone as hot as me is doing this.
I'm doing my accounting homework with my vibrator. Guess whose numbers are balanced on the financial statement? This ladys!
She could hold her breath for a long time. Best underwater blowjob ever.
Randomize
