so he came in my eye... should i throw out my contacts?
question - sack: should she or should she not play with it during foreplay?
His idea of a romantic evening was shotgunning Keystones. What a keeper.
Either your mom needs to stop making spagetti or we need to lay off the anal. I cant tell you how much im in pain.
Spagetti cuz im not giving up the other one.
I can blatently call girls sluts here and they think i'm speaking norwegian
They were going around the house breaking things and screaming "Not my house!"
Sorry my moustache came off because I was face first in a layered bucket full of jello shots.
Wait does semen show up on blood tests?
I'm sure I'll run in to him again, there's only so many VA detoxes.
I tried to walk home in my heels. And I fell into a snow bank. And then I cried and a policeman came up to me and said I can't sit in a snowbank and got me a cab. So maybe that's where I left my credit card. I remember the cop asking me if I was old enough to drink, too. OMG. How embarrassing. Pretty sure I told him to "leave me alone."
As much as my throat was opened up this weekend, you'd think I wouldn't nearly choke on a damn almond.
OH GOOD GOD THE BUFFALO WING SAUCE IS BURNING MY FUCKING CUNT. WHY THE FUCK DID I AGREE TO SPICY AND NOT MILD
I think he just shit his pants. Yep he did. That's unfortunate.
I’ve got a lot of questions but the first one has to be where you got the flame thrower.
So my dad just asked, "did you leave without pants a lil bit ago?"
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