the condom got lost in my hair
I don't know where I am, but its a Goosebumps novel waiting to happen.
Best moment of my life. I just got a text from some random number that said i can't wait to touch you. Her name is kiara and she had the wrong number.
she said she'd blow me if I bought one of her sorority raffle tickets. Goddamn it's gettin easy
There's three frat guys comparing how you were in bed. apparently you have gotten worse with time
I just had to blow my nose on a mcdonalds receipt in my car. Its time to stop doing coke.
I guess I gave him a 20 minute play-by-play of the first three sections of R. Kelly's 'trapped in a closet.'
playing nyquil roulette. it entails taking shots of nyquil and hoping it doesnt kick in during sex or in public. game on.
Look at my fb. It says single. That's the gospel.
True freedom is running around a sex club in former power plant in Berlin wearing a boots, a jock
Checking my Tinder matches as I sit here in the waiting room at Planned Parenthood. I can't be stopped.
I just need some breakup sex yanno like filthy wish fulfilling breakup sex to make me forget what I never had
I smoked all his weed and he hasn't noticed yet. But I might need a place to crash when he does
Besides, I'm booked tomorrow. I'm planning on drinking heavily and crying in the bath.
I need to stop challenging people to taking off clothes. I win too often
Randomize
