You know that restaurant that is like over by home depot?
That shitty one? I heard the food sucks there
It's my parent's restaurant
He said he was just looking at my pictures and was thinking about how he wanted to cut my hair..then dye it black and put platnium blonde extensions throughout it and layer my hair
My hair reeks of homosexuality.
I think this breakup is Gods way of telling me I deserve a bigger dick
Indeed. The kind of morning where puking in someone's shoes is not frowned upon
If you can find a Canadian Lesbian to have pity sex with me, let me know.
This is how my night is going so far. The bartender bought our last two rounds and I'm chasing a bee around the bar with a foam bat.
There should be a company that sends nadgrams. They're like candy grams except the recipient gets kicked in the balls.
Who the fuck cries when they're stoned?!
Sorry man I just really wanted a McChicken
All I know is when I checked my phone this morning google translate was open with "help the cow ate my robot" translated to French
I went shopping for a dress that was baptism and bar appropriate.
I just put vagisil on my bug bites how do you think my morning is going
quickly learned not to sleep with your roommate and work colleague in the same week
Still fucking the ballerina?
She can put her legs behind her head.
Enough said
are you really asking me this. do you KNOW how many times i masturbate in a day? yeah. wrong person to ask about romance.
Randomize
