I'm lost and stupid without you.
And then she started grabbing onto random guys legs, asking their names, and if they wanted to be friends... Haha, I love when the girls my ex's are dating are total drunken whores.
First order of business is dropping my 9 am gym class. I'm sweating pure vodka.
its not fair. if i was a guy, i'd be getting a high five for banging two in one night.
He snuck into my grandmothers house, broke her lamp, fucked me, then had breakfast with us the next morning. I am an awful granddaughter.
Pretty sure I blacked out the last 48 hours, the last thing I remember is the 4 pm bar crawl on Thurs
Can you believe they're going to let me be a doctor?
but i'm paying and its not a date cause he's got a gf and i'm hooking up with his roommate tomorrow night
WHY AM I ALWAYS THE GAY FRIEND?!?!
In a strange taxi 3059. Battery dying I'm dying. Bye.
The look on the dr's face when she asked me the last time i had sex and i responded "like an hour and a half ago" ... priceless
Told her my spirit animal was the spread eagle. Now that's my name in her phone.
Something about Sunday night screams phone sex
I had sex with him and I blame the Doritos
What's the best day of the week to potentially find out you're pregnant with your ex's baby?
We have been dating for 5 months. I'm friends with his sister. Yet my number in his phone is still saved as "hot bartender"
Randomize
