end the night at a gay bar...not sure how...but why the fuck do i have two condoms in my pocket?
The man at the Honda dealership told me I smell like vodka and probably shouldn't be driving.
Go on vacation with her and forget to pack pants. I did that once and it worked like a charm.
Should I feel bad that I fucked her and made her ride my little brothers razor scooter home?
It got kind of awkward when her dad brought home a 20 something asian girl at 3am
Dude she threw his clothes out n 8th floor window and her dog tried to bite his dick off. So the answer is yes it could be worse...
Wasn't a date. In exchange for artichoke dip I received a bj. And sex. It was a transaction.
oh my god i'm in a crawl space
Why don't we skip the roadtrip entirely, save us the trip, and go straight to jail?
I just yelled at a bunch of girl scouts for yelling "cookies" to loudly. That hungover
Kriste-san. Brian-sensai going to sleepy times acturry. Kriste-grasshopper will spend fun-fun times with Brian-sensai and glorious redbox movie tomorrow yes?
Most creative movie date proposition... ever.
BECAUSE THIS IS AMERICA AND DONUTS AND TITTIES AND ALCOHOL IS WHAT THIS COUNTRY WAS FOUNDED ON
Her one night stand followed us to mass. This is too funny for real life.
I feel badly that he has cancer, but this does not mean I am obligated to have sex with him. Again.
honestly dont worry about it, its not the first time ive injured myself on a potted cactus during sexual relations with a woman
Randomize
