Christians are straight up FREAKS
we sang an acapella version of barbara ann to his voicemail...i'm not drinking again until tuesday.
the doctor brought back painful memories by lecturing me about your teeth marks that are still on my dick.
if im not pregnant im gonna be so pissed for spending the money from my weed fund on the test
wow, a mother in the making
I don't think i can handle my uncle say again that kid rock is a true musician....
Why have they been driving around the block for the past 30 min?
He told her it was international road head day.
could hear acupuncture therapist getting blown in the next room over the whale music
Do you know what's great about Canada?..... There will always be a Tim Hortons on my walk of shame route
I think making out with someone could be the cure to all my problems. That or more cowbell.
I have to deal with three things I do not like this weekend. Pooping in toilets that are not mine. Air mattresses. Not beating off in the shower.
It's 4/20 of course I'm going to smoke in the portapotty and be ripped outta my mind at the lung cancer walk.
I just wanted to be the best at what I did even if that included sexing a whole fraternity or sorority ya know?
I think I've had more sex in your bed than you have and I've only been here three days
You are talking to me during sexting hours. Be careful, innuendos are taken seriously
He screamed, "Let there be light!" when he came
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