accomplished twins. life is a go
apparently vodka and oj turns green when you throw it up
basic color theory
Just saw a squirrel crossing the road in a crosswalk..my morning has improved exponentially.
So i know you wont get this until you land, but if i'm late its cause i was having sex. being blunt and hope that explains things.
halloween is SO much better on drugs, why didn't anyone let us know about this when we were kids
Scored tix to flower show. Do we want to go drunk on Saturday or hungover on Sunday? Only two options.
She just opened a six pack of corona with her car door ... I had no idea she was such a skilled drunk
He sent me a picture of myself smashed completely butt naked passed out on the couch and said "at least I'll have these memories"
Don't make fun of the drunk girl eating bread out of her pockets. I've been that girl.
Bring fortys. we have the duct tape. its onnn mothafuckaaaa
So did I or did I not flash an entire concert last night?
Maybe I can find a straight girl rehab camp, like the opposite of those degaying camps, where they teach me how to love the ladies instead
Omg. I would pay ALL OF THE MONEY for that camp.
Of the 4 nights I've gone downtown this week, I've been "piss in the parking lot" drunk 5 times
yeah i ran into him at the bar at 11pm. he started talking about engineering and the next thing i know it's 4am and i'm naked on top of him.
There. There is gum on my butt cheek IT IS NOT MINE
Randomize
