her name is jenna, so i wanna cunt punt her
that's how i am about ashleys and britneys
PS Can you transmit a UTI to a sexual partner? I tried to ask, but the doctor just told me to abstain (sup Bristol) for my own good w/o answering
I woke up at 4am on the couch with half my clothes on. And by half my clothes I mean my earrings.
Day 3 of Lent and I would already kill a puppy if God would give me permission to masturbate
my mom just emptied my water bottle filled with vodka into the turtle tank.
Sketchest drug deal yet.... I just got paid in quarters and chucky chesse tokens. I need to stop hooking my friends up.
I want to buy her liposuction. And a spot on What Not To Wear. And a face transplant.
Absinthe night with my dad again, I could get used to this being home thing.
He asked me how france is treating me
Tell him you got so much dick you may never come back to the US. That ought to keep him away
It's no longer hooking up, we have definitely graduated to Sport Fucking....
We've been watching Scooby Doo and having sex for the past 36 hours, so life is great
He hand fed me trail mix then I watched the video of me the next morning. He was actually feeding me meow mix.....that drunk. I still have no regrets marrying him
there's a 50/50 chance the night will end in alcohol-induced rituals of satanic nature
Bruh. He just said the words "cyber sex"-is it 1999?
Wow i just puked in front of the lady that was drug testing me. I passed though!
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