He just told me he would murder a thousand dolphins to be with me. Quite the charmer.
So i told my advisor i had to drop the class bc the prof said "supposably" and "irregardless" within the 1st 10 minutes of the 1st class; she agreed with me that dropping it was the best choice
I was high enough to think that mac-n-cheese w/ ketchup, tortilla chips w/ ketchup, and milk was a fancy dinner
This wouldn't happen so much if fat girls would just stop being so damn easy.
If tjhis were a lake full of vodka and i were a ducl Id swim my way down and ddrink my way up
only clue right now is the orange grease all on my clothes. debit card denied so I know something weird went down..
Even though he was watching you pee on his bedroom floor, you kept denying it and saying he was dreaming
Please come quick there are people in suits here judging me
Are you proud of yourself?
ask me again when I'm drunk. Then fuck off.
If it makes you feel any better, I'm eating a block of cheese...
A warmed up burrito and jelly beans. The breakfast of champions.
Apparently I blamed my BAC on the Saint Louis Cardinals...how is that not a valid excuse?!
I barely trust you with my tinder, why would I let you take the staples out of my head?!
I still can't believe that dog licked my nipple.
Just took acid. Wish me luck.
I worked out twice today and you're dropping acid. My life sucks.
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