my dad just encouraged me to do a kegstand
Do you ever think that bumblebee is the gay transformer?
Every day of my life.
Highlight of the day: realizing the man in the car next to mine was getting road head... at 2:45pm... nicely done sir, nicely done.
Just saw a drunk guy marching down the strip with a garden rake. I feel compelled to follw him
Apparently as I was doing the walk of shame home my dad's date was on her way to hers. hoes come in all ages these days
If you fool around, take the WHITE sweatshirt off of her first. It's mine, and I don't like your cum nearly as much as she does.
Haha, you avoided her at all costs. And then she shoved her tits in your face
where are you?
talk to ya later, gotta sled down these stairs real quick
who is that guy in your bed? he looks like jesus..way to keep it festive
Anyone who has court these next few days keep your head up & smile knowing we broke the County Record with 27 underage consumptions
I am high playing guitar hero naked. Please don't let me die this way
Just got an email from match.com trying to match me with My ex..I nearly pissed myself laughing
Tequila shots and throwing it at a bell.
This is dumb. I'll keep doing it.
She threw her burger out the car window last night. My vegan neighbors were not pleased but I’m pretty sure I saw a for sale sign go up on their lawn so I owe her one.
Hey
Gfdhklhgfxzyuikl$
GODDAMNIT WHY AM I MISSING THIS
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