We just described beer as "big boy apple juice" to his 2 year old.
they said they heard you say put it in my butt
Romer got arrested for getting in a bar fight with a bus boy because he was trying to steal a keg, had it all the way to the car
Lauren she was gnawing on a dresser. Gnawing. On. A. Dresser.
yea im pretty sure it has something do with my love of forearms...
What the fuck am I going to do with a pinata full of tampons?
At this point I just want to meet a man with a job.
Whatever you gave me is making me lactate
And then we made hashbrowns with vodka and queso.
Tell me I'm the only person you know who could punch someone at the bar, get escorted out, smoke a cig with the cop who almost arrested me AND get the security guy who escorted me out to buy me drinks.
Apparently being drunk on a southwest flight and yelling "TURNUP" during take off is looked down upon in this state.
I wanna just rip ass and see his reaction but i bet itd be better to shatter that illusion when hes drunk
We ended up on their roof with our pants around our ankles shotgunning beers at one point.
You're telling that to the kid drinking Jack in nothing but a graduation cap
If you can endure a laser on the butthole, you can endure a wax on the butthole. Those are words to live by.
Randomize
