Running into every girl no one would hook up with here at rick's. Typical.
this girl is running around outside screaming, it's creaming on me! it's creaming on me. I totally have to find my video camera
Quoting wale wont save you from herpes
when she said she's going upstairs to put her "play clothes" on, I knew either she was a pervert or a kindergarten teacher. Either way, I wasn't going to leave. She's a pervert by the way.
Best idea ever: Giving hobos a beer and having a chugging contest to win another beer. Most fun I have had downtown in a while.
Law school is ruining my masturbation schedule.
I just dont think you can meet a stranger after youve heard them cum through the walls though
I haven't had nearly enough lesbian experiences to fully commit to this relationship.
We left at the same time. You got home three hours after I did and said you got your head stuck in a fence. I can't believe you don't remember this.
I ended up with a bullet proof vest and I still don't know his last name.
Hey can we break in your window? We need to borrow the dog.
And I can say one thing, I look pretty good in high wasted pants. I don't know if that helps. But I do. God I'm high.
I was on my way last night when some asshole yelled "make better life choices" out the window of his car. I felt so self conscious I went home.
You know it's been a successful day when the only reason you put on a bra was to take off your shirt
He is in my tree wearing full on scuba gear ... Get here asap.
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