The class that normally occupies the room we use for my Monday class had to do posters as if for a Hamlet movie and they pick actors for each character and this person wrote "Robert D. Niro"
Just saw a woman walking a golden retriever and a vacuum down the road. I miss downtown.
Thanks to her sunglasses tan, I can't look at her when she blows me cause it's like getting blown by a raccoon. A very talented raccoon
It's safe to say that bucket of tequila night can NEVER HAPPEN AGAIN.
by the end of the night two people were passed out at the table, three on the couches, and one in the bathroom. it looked like someone pumped sleeping gas into the middle of a dinner party.
We just started the day with vitamin bombs. Daily vitamin + whatever's left in your glass from last night = feel like a champion
I just can't deal with that sentence
I feel like I'm going to get the reputation of being the girl who brings her dog with her to all her random hookups.
Don't matter if she's straight, I'll get her. I'm not called The Transformer for nothing
Because the guy guy doing the drawing either wanted to bone, or wanted us to stop entering the contest. Either way, we got concert tickets so I'm cool with both scenarios.
Just don't have sex while watching Home Alone. It will ruin Christmas for you.
Btw, remind me to tell you about how I had to cancel my crazy wild sex plans with Will b/c my roommate came back from his trip after a day b/c Canada wouldn't let him in. Fucking cockblock.
Actually that's the whole story. You don't have to remind me.
The only thing that makes a night with half a bottle of cheap vodka is the other half of that bottle of cheap vodka.
This morning we had sex while he was wearing a full length fur jacket and sunglasses... I wasn't even phased
Nothing says girls night like wine cheese and pregnancy tests 😂
my favorite sex position is the one where no sex actually happens we just get really stoned and eat a lot and watch netflix in the dark
Randomize
