No touching my privates on the ride to school. Pinky swear.
he said "cool" when i took off my bra and proceeded to stare wideeyed at them the ENTIRE time. it was like sleeping with the kid i showed my boobs to for the first time in 6th grade.
I owe her a pancake or a second hand orgasm
All I'm saying is that whoever owned the wheelchair clearly didn't need it or they wouldn't have been able to leave it there
Just climbed to the top of a frozen waterfall! Do you want to do drugs tm night? The two are unrelated.
i think i have weasels eating my brain. Also there is a skeleton staring at me from the back of the bathroom door. it's an awkward vomit. come find me please
I'm sorry you were dumb enough to get played by a male cheerleader
"it's Wednesday" isn't a good enough excuse to take my debit card and use it for your own drunken needs. You owe me 250 bro
i'm scootering my little heart out so i'm not late for a weed pickup. this is the meaning of adolescence
Fate is real! that hot chick, Megan just showed up dressed as jasmine and I'm dressed as Aladdin this is going to be cake
there's a drunk hobo under the bridge wearing a jester hat and screaming at women
this party is nice, but i have to go home and cry over anime in order to fill my daily quota of suffering
Fuck off. Since when do you love him??
Since he licked my arm to retrieve the macaroni and cheese he dropped. You have to appreciate that
Can't even lie. Mad respect
Yeah, but having a dick this size has ruined 3 marriages.
It involves me, my best friend, and a stripper and her mother.
Randomize
