I'm scared
There's nothing to be scared of. My penis is average size.
That's what I'm afraid of
Psycho is an understatement. U were running around the house screaming IM UNDER THE IMPERIOUS CURSE
Random question, how's your gag reflex these days
just because you dressed up as a brontosaurus doesn't mean you can poop in my yard and roar at my neighbors
i just woke up to seventeen texts from you saying all the things you would have done for a french fry.
I'm quitting my job and I'm just going to become a professional drunk girls mistake.
She said she's saving anal for marriage cuz she has to save something for her husband...seriously just caught myself lookin at rings.
I thought making out with his sister would be a great way of meeting him. But it backfired.
ride him like a prized pony all the way to orgasm town.
Aparently i was the only guy at her parents bbq throwing up in the pool so Im the asshole right...
how do you not remember that?! you winked at the bouncer and then proceeded to grind on him while chugging a beer. i don't know if i should be proud or embarrassed to be your friend
No, this place just freaks me out. Like I feel like ill get pregnant just being here. And all those pregnant bellies. It's weird.
So far today I've found 3.5 million dollars in savings. Pretty sure management is gonna start buying me hookers if getting laid has this much payoff
He recreated the night that started all my mothers days. We shared a joint, drank Boones Farm, and dry humped to the Beastie Boys. Then I cried over MCA's death. Best. Gift. Ever.
I was hoping for a marriage proposal... Or at least an offer to sleep in his bed.
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