I feel like Captain Hook just gave me a pap smear.
the roller ball on my blackberry is the closest i've come to touching a clit in 2 years.
nothing can go wrong this weekend. $1500 to spend. i have options for hookups every night. my backup plans have backup plans
We've been fucking since Friday.... This is the most committed non-committed relationship I've ever been in
We just made a drinking game out of our chemistry review. This might explain my chemistry grade.
It's cheaper then a lap dance and you get your hair cut.
I'm pretty sure that when my parents bought me those savings bonds they thought it would go towards something useful like tuition. Not your bail.
I told you I'd buy you lunch.
Remember when we had a keg, and then another 5 cases... and like 30 people drank it all?
Everything hurts.
He drank his beer out of his own shoe. Its his "party trick"
Come now. I'm bloody but I'll give you the best fuck of your life.
I was lying I actually don't, I hope a reindeer shitted in her bed
You have to get it done early. Like a dick drive by. Hit it and run.
these past three weeks have been a real "fuck you" to my liver
How ironic... opening your legs for closure.
I'm not going to tell you how to live your life, which includes naming your schlong
Randomize
