New invention idea: vibrating tampons
I haven't shaved so I have to behave myself. I'm going to do this from now on.
How would you go about getting a hold of the country star that you slept with and are now potentially pregnant with their baby...?
myspace Music?
I've thrown up so many times in the third floor bathroom of Baldwin that they should probably just go ahead and name it after me.
i'm not accepting baked goods from anyone for awhile. especially after the stalker pie.
She kept telling the ambulance to sit down and then started crying when we told her it couldn't hear her
Just saw a tranny in a skimpy captain america costume walking around campus. Going to follow her. You gotta see this
We legit stopped the the game so that Jamie and I could throw up in the bushes, and then continue to play intramurals... this is what my life is coming to1
I woke up at 3am, my head in a toilet, still at the kegger, wearing a random cowboy hat.
I walked into your room and you had fallen asleep smoking a cigarette. You just had the butt in your mouth with ash all over your face.
IS SOBER OCTOBER A THING?? WTF WHO ARE THESE PEOPLE?
He's passed out. He nodded his head when I asked if he's alive though...so there's that
I did a line of coke with my ex tonight. Talk about memories
Well Jon got a DUI sleeping in the back seat so I thought the trunk was safer. BUT WHO CARES WHY JUSE PLEASE COME LET ME OUT!
When have you ever know me to go too far?
Besides the alcoholism, the HR issues, and getting fired from Best Buy for tackling a display?
Yeah. Besides those.
Randomize
