I saw those LARP guys in the street again. One is hot, the other looks like Corey Fieldman's retarded son.
my underwear are soaked with white zifandel yet i have continued to wear them despite the fact im at home
do you know anything about the $5 bill with my name stapled to it in my purse??
i hope not, i just know that at one point I was sitting on the bathroom floor eating bugles and crying because i had no one to show that it looked like I had witch nails when i stuck them on the ends of all ofmy fingers.
Going to bed. I have to wake up early and teach small children. And then have affairs with their fathers. I'm going to get deported.
ill be fine wheb you get back. I'm gunna do real world things like washing the dishes. having to perform serious tasks brings you down.
When a girl says " I never would have come over if I knew I was getting kicked out at 7am." the correct response isn't "but think of how responsible you're being."
I told you I'm not going to the Phillies game until we're tripping balls
Gotta admit I did think about bartering you out to the gay guys for $20 and the dudes flashy neck scarf
He wants me to tell you "my boner misses you"
Do you find Darth Vader masks attractive?
He pulled out the guitar, sat in tub, and took requests while she puked her brains out in the toilet. I think he loves her.
My professor is wearing skinny jeans, orange socks and just said penetration. I don't know what to think
Decisions were made. The quality of them will be judged tomorrow
I got here. Mom yelled "drink of the day is blueberry sangria" and next thing I knew I was on a slip and slide.
Randomize
