Yes, one should always join a cult. At least once.
is it considered a "problem" when you find a pickle slice in your bed in the morning or is it like a "super-awesome bonus"?
I'm not even planning on drinking that much tonight.. but I'm writing "emergency contact number" and your number on my hand just in case
dude i woke up to her making a statue of my morning wood for her sculpture class. HOW THE FUCK do you think i feel about her?
he sent me a winky sad face. i cannot deal this level of pathetically needy flirtatiousness.
If you ever find a dick that big chop it off and bring it to me.
we've been together for three years, and i still get excited when i know i'm going to give him a blow job. it's that kind of love
I think I broke a hole in her wall trying to do backflips
Dude that girl I hooked up with Tuesday is in lecture. I told her I was from the Dominican visiting my cousin and was leaving the next day. Hiding under my hood and hangover.
My phone just said I texted someone at 430a and said let's fight. Then I texted them an hour later and said thanks.
I tried to have a quickie with him at the company happy hour. I think I need to quit my job.
Passing out drunk in my therapists lobby may not be the best way to confirm my "stability"
I called 911 when they kicked me out of the bar last night.
We got really excited for country fried steak then we had sex.
i bet he makes cat noises to excite himself.
Randomize
