its like his balls were made of silver and he was trying to polish the tarnish off
she started talking about my kids
was she topless?
I think we should see other people.
Already working on it.
Weird we were more concerned with sharing our germs than tag teaming the blow job?
Tried to steal a keytar from my hook up's house.
I traded my pants for a Santa hat last night and it was so worth it.
I want a battle ostrich, get me a battle ostrich and then come and make love to me
I HAVENT SEEN A PENIS IN 5 WEEKS I REFUSE TO REMAIN CALM
The time to say "now you can't go and be strange about this at work" is not as you are penetrating your coworker. NOW its awkward
So apparently having sex with your co-worker in the bathroom at the staff party can get you fired.
You left your hot dogs in my dresser again
Did you really have to freak out and get up half way through to put the cat in the closet?
...
honestly, you deserve someone taller anyways
You stuck your false lashes to your upper lip and then asked that ONE kid with facial hair if your "mustaches could touch" as an excuse to make out.
It baffles me why I still wear white underwear...
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