making cat noises will not fix the situation.
I ride home in a shopping cart. Don't at like you aren't jealous.
she was handing out condoms w/ her number on them...
I woke up in the closet and then I found my shirt in a bag of Doritos... how does that work out?
We're in the emergency room. He concussed himself trying to pop all the bubbles on my "one bubble a day" wall calender with his face.
I got home and laid by the toilet and then alexa laid in the bathtub and sang the preamble while kayla held my hair
She refuses to believe she pulled down her pants and spanked her ass in front of us
Fun fact. I am at the police dept. getting served a warrant for unpaid ordinance... and the officer was a one night stand from like 10 years ago.
I had lunch with him today and quietly mourned his wasted good looks on such a disappointing set of genitals.
His girlfriends signaled their approval by pulling me off of him and in turn making out with me. I think I will hang out with this group more often
A dry HJ only, please. I don't deserve the comforts of lube after my horrendous fantasy football performance
I just woke and boke and made apple pancakes. I'm kicking Monday in the dick.
Last night when we banged she had nothing else on but socks that said 'property of Jesus' on them.
I peed in Andys sink the other day bc I didnt want him to hear me pee
Honestly, you can’t tell the whole sorority he has a donkey dick and expect that no one would sleep with him after you broke up
Randomize
