if you call bong hits and onion rings a party, then yeah
watching law and order svu marathons. all of the sex crimes cases start like my sat night.
i had to cut you off after you shoved a bunch of bottle caps in your mouth and pretended you had braces.
the cops didn't wanna shut the tailgate down but the strippers weren't allowed to take money without a license or somthing
it is entirely possible that the police will be knocking on the door in 25 minutes
The last thing I remember is pushing my way into the bathroom and dumping a 40 on him. We havent talked since.
Remind me again why a vodka watermelon can't be a thanksgiving dish
It was a fight. Me vs nature and drunkenness. And nature won. Big time.
I haven't even sucked a boob is 6 weeks I hate not college
So... remember when you threw an orange in the closet when we were 16 to make wine? Just found it. Not wine.
After walking ten blocks barefoot in Boston I've concluded drunk me needs to make better decisions.
Then he asked if he could pee on me and things really went downhill
Intoxication Level: I'm as graceful and flawless as a fucking dinosaur.
Anytime you wish.we are doing double shots in the kitchen,and I drank a beer in the shower,so...the sooner you get here,the sooner you can get on our level.
In order to get rid of my bladder infections I must give up caffeine, nicotine and tight pants. It's like my pussy is an angry dictator or something
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