there is no 'pace myself' on the blackout express
Is that a tongue signal to get over there? That's how my two heads are taking it.
Na Im fine, just need to un-grow this vagina I've developed
My phone broke again .... im not really sure how im going 2 explain the teeth marks to the ppl at the Verizon store
I can give you five reasons its your baby
and I can give you 10 reasons it's not, but I'm busy so I'll just go with you have the wrong number. And also I'm a straight girl.
And thanks to you I'm pretty sure I'm banned from every qdoba in south carolina. And cab company
I really feel like I should slow down on the getting hammered. I told a bartender on "Taco Tuesday" that a $3 margarita was too expensive. And proceeded to have a $70 tab.
Thou shall not get drunk and hit bitch cup in pong and take shirt off while wearing a see-through lace bra again
Well I may have gotten laid but I over drafted buying pizza so I think that negates everything
Who loses their virginity to fucking Flo Rida
My boss stocked the communal fridge with Gatorade. It's like he wants me to come in hungover.
There's a dude wearing a banana suit at the house across the street....
Why exactly is there a butt plug on the counter?
Sorry if that was awkward, i will never call you sober ever again
You left your pants here again. 4th time in a row. How can you walk home without pants?
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