May have just accidentally purchased an iphone on Kate's credit card. This has potential to be bad.
You can tell a man will be prosperous by the power of his farts- A fart that can shake the room is a voice that can change the world.
apparently you CAN get banned from Nascar.
I am officially superior to you. I said "Go Go Gadget Dick" before I fucked her. I dare you to beat that.
Same, I didn't even get to be tarzan this summer
I woke up to them arguing over who would get my morning wood. Oh, and I was dressed as Santa.
We have to give a final comment in english, i think i might say "i learned it's a bad idea to make out with people in your classes who have girlfriends."
Gooodnight my beautiful sex angel. Much luvz for joo, etceteraz
Screw disneyland. This military base is the happiest place on earth. Even unnatractive dudes are completely fuckable in those uniforms, im never leaving
Def just threw up beer then brushed my teeth with some randos toothpaste now back to drinkin beer
It wasnt until i started dancing that i realized i pissed myself dude. I dont think shes gonna call me back.
Is 36 too old to fuck a college student? THIS IS BOTH IMPORTANT AND TIME SENSITIVE
I couldn't find my hair brush so I just brushed my hair with a cat brush. I should not be dating.
If I'm gonna have a rotation of guys, I really should stop them leaving boob bruises...
We didn't have a place to have sex. So we timed the automatic car wash & spent $9 for 3 minutes and 45 secs of car sex.
Randomize
