Where were you when I was single???
Still in diapers.
ohhhh fuckk. chicks a dude.
so then they started chanting "LET'S GET A LITTLE BIT SCHWASTED. S-H-W-...WASTED!" theres nothing like partying with former high school cheerleaders
I'm coming over to use your dick. I need to take my aggression out on something. Hope that's cool.
FOUR LOKO IS YES. SUNDAY MORNING DRUNK IS YES.
Abby. I can text perfectly. I pledge allegiance to the flag of the united states of america. and to the republic, for which we stand, one nation under god indivisible and with liberty and justice for all god bless america
im hiding in a corner. drunk. with a plate of stolen jello shots. im pretty sure people are looking for me or the jello shots.
I gave the bathroom attendant $5 last night for turning the sink on for me. What. The. Fuck.
He is more interested in finding his sweater than he is in having sex with me. It better be a great fucking sweater.
WHO ARE THESE GUYS WHY AN ORGRY ON A MONDAY LMAO
Happy birthday and sorry I punched your friend in the face
No, and she still hasn't answered me...I get a whole series of text messages about Guatemalan anal bleaching but no fucking answer to my question.
Hey, I'm sleeping in your car...lol just knock on the window in the morning
dude i told her that I loved her...and she said, " go fuck yourself"
His wife isn’t coming to the wedding! I’ve got 48 hours to home wreck him. Gotta go, I have to shave my vajayjay and buy some really slutty underwear. Love you!
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