the bus pole looks like a man who feels guiltyty about something
Changing from sweatpants to jeans at 3 in the afternoon makes the day seem so much more productive than it actually was.
this kid woke up on our hotel floor and doesnt know how he got here
on my way back.. me and that kid will be great friends
He kept trying to order 'sex on the tennis courts' for a drink last night
I can't believe you broke a Paula dean wooden spoon over my ass
Half of elefante. Gelafin galaxy
Just hook me up with your dad already stop being selfish
its not that I hate him, it's just that I wish his penis was attached to someone i like more
This is the guy I made out with and it made me think of my dad. Let's never talk about it again.
We're super invested in me shitting to my full potential
after attempting to eat a candy cane bigger than my hand i have determined there's no way to eat this that doesn't seem erotic
Guys, as my favorite vagina consultants I have to share something.
My professional advice is not to put lemons in your lady pocket.
He made a toga out of my hot pink bed sheets and cracked an egg on his head. Then he proceeded to alphabetize our DVD collection, which was impressive because I'm 99% sure he couldn't have done that sober.
So I just went to clothing optional bar
I was writing 'DISTRACTION' across my chest in Sharpie when my boob fell out. Right on camera.
Randomize
