we had sex three times last night.. but now im just wet from him crying on my stomach about how much he misses his ex.. awesome
I don't care what he thinks. My vagina has an open door policy.
We left at the same time. You got home three hours after I did and said you got your head stuck in a fence. I can't believe you don't remember this.
Just got a free shot w my beer...it's not quite 11am yet...I love international travel. These people aren't judgmental.
I mean really it's like when you're super hungry and you can't decide what to eat, you just know you want food. This is that situation, but for my vagina
Apparently all year they've been using me as a standard of drunkenness
I whipped my shit out and she just stared at it with a mean face. It was like a face off in a heavyweight boxing fight.
a pizza costume came into my possession last night. needless to say i showed up to his house wearing only the pizza, shouting "delivery" into his window.
You've thrown off my entire schedule. Usually SATURDAYS are my "try to hide the jizz on my leggings" days
is it too much for me to say that i have a ziplock bag with ice in it in my underwear?
looked up people from my old yearbooks. 3 ex boyfriends are gay. im getting drunk now.
This is the beginning of the end. Testicle Tuesdays and free ball Friday are going to scar people for life
Dude that picute of your balls will haunt my nightmares
I just shaved my pubes into a heart shape. if that doesn't scream romantic idk what does
Yeah I was just reminiscing about that time a seagull shit on your head at the beach
Do you think Ashley had her twin sister tag in for our date? The sex was different and I think a mole was missing
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