Well I'm going to a gay club in my banana suit. You should come. My bro is going as a pirate. I don't know if there's a theme.
I know...I feel like disliking her as a person on facebook
im holly from the hills drunk
I'm watching this guy on intervention hospitalized for liver damage. He's drinking the hand sanitizer in the hospital room. Say hello to your future.
For sure. We should see if we can get Mike to pay for one, and have a triple kegger... :o==& (that's future me projectile vomiting. i try to be goal oriented)
Drinking with a woman who gave an anti-drugs speech at my high school. Somehow, not surprised.
remind me to get a blood sugar test this week. I'm pretty sure I'm a mojito away from diabetes.
If she's steering anything, it's a religious boat of crazy. Destination: Iceberg.
you regret 100% of the tequila shots you do take. thats what gretzky meant to say
This morning I got out of bed 4 HOURS LATE, made eggs with a plastic beach shovel, and then ate them using pens like chopsticks in my bed with my turtle. Obviously, I am not in the mood to be proactive with my life today...
The cleaning lady has a form she makes me sign every time she finds me passed out in my office so she can keep track of how much to charge me each month for keeping quiet about it.
to answer your questions bluetooth, 30ft, like a tampon, ask her, her idea, got tired of trying to find her in crowed clubs
Also I feel like death. But like. In a good way
Ik youre sleeping but fyi its 5:32am I'm sitting in the middle of the road bra less and shoeless with boxers in my hand and no ride. Shits real crazy.
All she said was "Do me by Friday."
Randomize
