She looks makes a Zellweger face when she cums, she's keeps asking why I call her renee
It's chlamydia! Thank God!
My grandpa just complimented my boobs. Im taking this as a compliment but also brushing it off as alcoholism on his part.
i caught him jerking off, doing his SAT Prep. forever alone.
3 things. 1) we need alcohol 2) we need alcohol 3) we need tortilla chips. Let's make a plan. Bro shakes and salsa.
congratulations to me i think I am on the road to legitimate alcoholism
cool. same. I'm in class drinking
NOT OKAY
sorry for partying
THATS NOT PARTYING THATS DRINKING IN CLASS
You're welcome to join, but just to warn you, tequila makes my clothes disappear. And I'm telling you that as an adult to an adult, not as your supervising teacher who decides whether or not you graduate.
Pizza toast. It's like pizza but on toast. BC we are broke. OMG its so good.
You would never do this sober.
It's that moment where you find out the girl you've been dating for 6 months is a mob daughter. Post breakup.
By far the fardest thing to do drunk is open a band aid
Yeah, so, that moment when the repair guy comes in and you see your cock ring on the counter one second before he does.
They need to eat meat, go down on me the first time, every time, and know how to pull my hair. And there's a height requirement for this ride
I mean, she's batshit insane and once choked a guy with one hand but she's still MILF material in my book.
There is a guy down by the river wearing a zebra print speedo and a sombrero, with a beer in each hand, screaming "This is America bitches!"
Don't forget to grab a pregnancy test and sloppy joe mix for tonight
Randomize
