dude, osama threatened the US again
dude. i slept with your sister last night
what?
I saw that as an opertune moment to drop some big news
Y do pigs give u trufles on farmville? I WANT BACON YOU FUCKING PIG!
No more Irish car bombs ever.
She told me she cured her bulemia by popping hydrocodone after she ate. that way she would be rewarded for not puking. I like the way she thinks
Balls are wasted. Waste are ballsted. Ballsd wasted
I can now tell my grandchildren Central Park has really great spots for quickies...
For only eating leftover pizza for breakfast today, you sure do have a lot to vomit up...
We can't be fuck buddies. You stare into my eyes while we fuck.
That moment when the line ‘If you want a hot body you better work bitch’ in Britney Spears’ new song comes on as you’re using two forks to shovel enchilada into your mouth.
I see your boobs were ready to greet the new year.
Thanks for listening. You're the first guy I've ever worked with who I didn't want to fuck.
He was like 120 lbs and 20 of that was penis
just saw two eagle scouts making out in chic-fil-a
Making friends with the guy who had alcohol-infused whipped cream was the best decision I made all night.
sorry i was ignoring you last night i accidentally did a bunch of pcp and thought i was inside tron
Randomize
