if you don't start talking to me i'm gonna tell your gf that you said she tastes bad
shes wearing a jean skirt, its frayed. i got this
She invited me to an Eagles game, I mean that is almost better then if she told me she could only function with large amounts of semen in her system at all times.
it only takes four glasses of wine for me to ride an elephant with a stranger.
When I stretch out her lips her vagina looks like a dolphin...this birthmark is awesome
She said that I needed to "pregame her so it can slip right in."
i gave her a can of corn and told her the cabs are accepting non perishable food items over the holidays. blatant lie and she lives like $40 away
Jordan and I are drunk and barred out at the liquor store sitting in the awesome $70 Corona bench bargaining with the owner for a lower price, all while passing the Belvedere bottle between the two of us. Real life. College has down this.
Nevermind, there are three drinks waiting at the bar for me. I cannot disappoint this alcohol.
And he came all over himself. At least he didn't ruin my new lulus.
Actually though that could've been bad.
That girl definitely just ate a hot dog and stared straight in to my eyes.
i wore a power symbol belly button ring just so i can drunkenly tell him that he turns me on. i dont care if it works i think its classy
I just spilled a shot of Patron on your mom.. Body shots may be happening. You better get here quick.
He said he loves me but he haven't eaten me out yet. So I don't think he means it.
I'd like to know who hasn't seen my tits tonight.
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