PS Can you transmit a UTI to a sexual partner? I tried to ask, but the doctor just told me to abstain (sup Bristol) for my own good w/o answering
he is training for a marathon but can't last more than five minutes on top. worst tuesday night ever
She's mad at me cuz I told her having a fuck buddy was too much commitment.
I found her in the bathroom licking her screwdriver off the floor. she said there was no way she was wasting a $6 drink.
He puked in the funnel and continued to chug it. Who is this dude?
I want to break his glasses with my pelvis.
My favorite thing about your netflix account "suggestions for you" section: Russias Toughest Prisons is followed immediately by Strange Sex
I'm kinda surprised he wouldn't be honored to take me back as a fuck buddy.
I'm eating hummus off of my stomach right now.
Its a holy bong. We had to bless the holy bong water.
Seriously. Are we going out tonight? If we're not, I'm going to put on sweatpants and do drugs.
Me and you. The most fucked up people on the planet drinking together. Hell yeah
Damn you. I'm in a bar with Southern Jesus Fearing Blah Blah Rednecks WHO ARE PROBABLY VOTING FOR TRUMP and you go radio silent.
I think I just got buffalo sauce on my penis. Is that a turn on or off?
There's a kitten on my face and I'm druuuunk
Randomize
