she's leaving w me bro, I've been buying her mad shots. She's seen my apt. So locked down.
im pretty sure there are laws against slapping prostitutes
i'm pretty sure there are laws against prostitutes.
Every time I hang out with your gay friend, I have to make a checklist of words to look up when I get home. First Google of the night? "Power bottom."
I cant date a girl that sucks dick at sucking dick
i feel like my eyelids need a kick stand.
Either I get my picture taken sitting on a fuckin pony, or I'm not coming.
how drunk are you?
What does that even mean anymore?
I don't care what he thinks. My vagina has an open door policy.
The way I'm gonna look at it is, if you don't makeout with your roommate once in college, you didn't do something right.
I told her I wanted to use him as a chew toy while simultaneously licking his face.
Did she tell him? And if so, was he cool with it? If yes, date him, date the fuck outta him.
This morning i put band aids over my nipples bc i was too lazy to put on a bra. Think I've reached a new low.
I'm honestly wondering if my vagina did something to offend the universe
Me and some guy are crying in a port a potty together after another guy broke up with both of us.
There is sex in the air. Be careful where you walk.
I don't know, all I remember is waking up at 4 in the morning to him going down on me.
Randomize
