I though she ruined it by crying, then I realized it wasn’t a tear, it was my great aim. It turned out to be beautiful.
Just wondering why in an apartment full of stoners there is half a waffle in the TRASH CAN. get ur shit together man
He looks like the kind of guy that still collects pokemon cards
Does it really count as two different guys if they're brothers? I like to think of it as one and a half.
I was scoping hash out of our weed jar with a spoon and I realized we need to buy actual utensils. This plastic shit is killing me I've broke 3 spoons
Walmart at night is scary enough without having to run into people you've slept with
We could be hammered at a childrens film. You failed me
So. How about you can get tequila certified...
I know the wedding is going to be a good time, I don't have to wear a bra with my dress
I'm sorry I put my balls through your watch. On another note your roommate had them on his shoulder too sry
He had a small dick anyway. I'm glad I barfed on it.
A stripper set a mans ass on fire... the club smelled like burning ass and boxers.
We are bad people. This is why we are friends. <3
just realized I'll be in a check out line with just Hershey syrup and condoms. I don't know if I am setting a good image for our generation
Vegas never ceases to amaze me. Hung out with a stripper from ATL all night and got nuthin, but the next night meet a bride-to-be who gives me a bj in the elevator.
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