She's hot and she went to Notre Dame. I want to fuck the Catholic right out of her
fuck. did you have to draw it on me with a permanent marker
She wouldn't stop saying her own name. Like a damn pokemon.
I'm treating myself to a " uve slept with yet another mr. Wrong" breakfast
I feel like I'm on let's make a deal. should I go with what's behind bulge number 1 or bulge number 2?
I swear if she asks me for a baby one more time I'm gonna sleep with one of her friends
Picking up hoes with my dad is going to make it a little harder, but ay, if thats how he wants to bond after 23 years, Ill give it a shot
Your whole purpose in life is to just float around and satisfy lonely women and also join lesbian couples in threesomes.
Then he claimed me as his prize for 3rd place in a wing eating contest. Too romantic.
MASS TEXT: Lets start a new tradition. Black Friday log pic contest. I'm waiting.
I really enjoy how cavalier you're being about your chlamydia
His pick-up lines are quotes from Doctor Who. Of course I fucked him.
I told my boss that I'm in a slutty stage of my life right now and the chef overheard and slipped me his number. I might get laid tonight
debating what would be more effort, turning on to my other side or trying to get myself off with my left hand. that kind of lazy day.
Soo are you just gonna poop in my bathtub and not talk to me anymore...?
Randomize
