what has become of my life if the best thing thats happened to me this week is that i discovered my cleavage as the best hiding spot ever for weed.
We're going on a mission for new porn. And ice cream.
he said i was chugging vodka in the parking lot, gave my # to a married man, started a food fight, and passed out at the bar. how could he NOT consider that a good first date???
I gave him a blowie and after he said he wanted to send a giftbasket to the girl we met through.
Stop trying to talk to my friends!!
then get some ugly ones...
this kid just offered me adderall in exchange for my meal points. college at its finest
Besides, I'm not in my 30's. I'm still allowed to drink wine from a bag.
If I squint, he looks like Jude Law. But that's kind of a weird face to make during sex.
sex on the stairs. not our finest idea.
My dad just asked if I could bring snacks to jail this weekend. Like what does he think this is, some type of adult play date?
I'm watching porn in spanish. Thats studying right?
Is posting a pic on insta of my previously dyed blue pubes socially acceptable?
The dicks good but it's not two trains and a bus good.
That's right. I just LL Cool J'ed you up in this bitch. Zero fucks.
Haha holy fuck. i dont remember much after pissing on your ex's flaming nude pics.
Randomize
