My new storm is the chrons
The only reason I needed a new one is bc I threw up on my other one(248): And since Verizon doesn't have a throw up test, I was eligible for a new one
Now it won't go down.
You've got a gift.
i just peed out my two story window using my cell phone as a flashlight . hope the neighbors didnt see
She texted me and said she was fingering herself. Don't respond to this because she's the perfect girl. I'd love to smell her cell phone after that.
I assume you meant to text someone else on your contact list instead of your own mother...
you went around grabbing cigarettes out of peoples mouths and claiming you were curing cancer.
I ishhh haha are u coming nack easyer?
the fact that I know you're asking me if I'm coming home for easter makes me believe I speak fluent vodka.
It's called 'beer pong' not 'everclear and coke pong' for a reason...
Screw this I'm going to go talk to her. If you hear sirens they're for me.
TOMORROW NIGHT CAN I HOLD YOU LIKE A BABY
she screamed "gravy"!!! in the guys face and then stole the very large mans food in line ahead of us... that was just the beginging of the police report.
A sandwich with pizza as the bread. I love you.
YES WITH THE SQUARE KIND OF SLICES
Then again, he has huge mansions.
*manboobs.
We had sex on a dog bed..
After round two, I told him he deserves an award. He bowed and did a princess wave WHILE his dick was still inside me.
I am such a fucking liability at weddings. I ended up making out with this married 40-year-old that told me that basically if I came home with him and be a sex partner for him and his wife, I would never have to pay for anything again. Extremely considered it.
Randomize
