Don't bone anyone, just think of ur vibrator lol
HHaaaaaaaaa mmmmn vibrator
how the fuck does easy mac keep making itself at 3am when i'm wasted? what is this phenomenon?
ok understand this, i didn't pay for your dinner bc you said i wasn't going to get a blowjob for at least a month... this isn't a mail-in rebate deal, you gotta pay upfront
I took her to see 2012 then broke up with her, the movie was a metaphor.
Just to save you guys the surprise, somebody shit outside of our door.
I'm a little nervous about this St. Patty's Day party. Seriously, we're still finding stuff from the Halloween party.
SHE GRABBED MY FULLY ERECT DICK IN A BAR AND STUCK HER TONGUE DOWN MY THROAT AND I COULD NOT CLOSE
and here comes the time of my day when I haw to convince a guy to drive my cape and my handle to my dorm.
you got coffee,laid,and a sandwich. that never happens when I work
I swear going to your house is like going to a strip club, no matter what happens I get glitter on me.
You partied and then got cock slapped, Don't tell me you didn't have fun
99% of the contents of my handbag are ketchup packets and condoms. I feel that says a lot about me as a person.
Hey before you quit, let me sell drugs to your boss at least one more time
And change of plans today, I'm gonna lay in bed and eat taco bell and try not to die. Brazilians another day.
Freshly fucked must agree with my hair cause I've gotten compliments on it this afternoon
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