she was home schooled till college. were she learned how to give the most amazing blowjobs is still a mystery.
I woke up naked in my own vomit. Not even in my bed. No one is happy.
Come on. It's already happy hour in Europe...Man up. "I'm at work" and "it's a tuesday" are not valid excuses.
He had a beer bottle in each of his back pockets and was on rollerblades. All I remember is following him for about 10 minutes
Voted patient of the month again at the urgent care. I need to rethink my life choices.
It sounds miserable..I have to wear a dress and it's a cash bar?
I would have done it. But then again I am a starving student who can manipulate my brain into thinking my decision was somehow morally justifiable.
This chic sharing the cab with me just started givin me head. I'll be an extra 5 minutes.
I'm two sheets to the sexual wind
if i ever wake up in the morning and don't feel a boner in my asscrack then this relationship is over
She just asked if I wanted to eat nachos off of her boobs... I'm going to marry this girl.
some kid lit a j in the bar tonight. i was in awe of both his boldness and the severe beatdown he received moments later
Don't do shots out of Tostitos scoops.
We're listening to drake in the middle of the woods and smoking two joints at once...my life is complete.
Dude, I'm sorry if you saw me getting head in my truck last night. My bad.
Randomize
