There's a dildo in the cheerios box here...
I have a pretty basic diameter of my vaginal abyss. I'm sure it won't hurt.
I bought a goldfish, named it after my ex-girlfriend, and let it die. It's really the little things in life.
i was like a deer caught in headlights with its coke-dick hanging out
just printed 333 ways to get kicked out of wal-mart. hello thursday night.
i woke up to my roomate hitting me in the head with a can of PBR at 8:30 in the morning...i love spring break
Before I dignify that with an answer, let me get this straight. You're asking me if I wiped my ass on the towels?
I'm missing some hair, but it's cool. Breadsticks are done.
Those titties aren't worth a lifetime of listening to her talk about gluten free yams and japanese manga.
There's a dead squirrel in the freezer. Is that what you stopped to get out of the road last night?
I knew when her mom came in spraying me with Febreeze telling me I smelled like shame it was going to be a rough day.
Is "when in doubt date the guy with the bigger dick" a good philosophy?
I believe in your delicious
Just got home from work. I'm going to change into sweats for a while before I have to wear normal pants to the party like I promised.
Like if I exploded right now there would be cum and fajitas everywhere.
Randomize
